Dust In The Wind

A lederhosen wearing brass quartet!

 Smiles and pass-a-long cards all around!

This week was incredible!! Mannheim is starting to gather some steam, and I am loving the ride!

Highlights from the week:

*Our mission made a goal of setting 10 baptismal dates this week throughout the mission, and we set 17 instead. Sister Megli and I contributed!

*There are a lot of people from China here to study at the University in Mannheim. Often they are interested in learning more, because usually God is not someone they know very well, and they are curious, so we always try to talk to them. So, the other day, we were walking by a bus stop, or actually BEHIND a bus stop, and Sister Megli sees this girl sitting on the bench, and she's whispers to me

"Go talk to her, I think she's Asian!"

So I turn around and run over there, and go up to her. She's got her headphones in, but I say clearly and distinctly

"Entschuldigung." (excuse me)

She looks up and pulls her headphones out.

Clearly NOT Asian.

There was this this split second where Sister Megli and I both freeze and in my head I'm like..

Sister Megli??

But it was too late to go back, so I start talking to her.

It ended up being a lovely conversation, and she was curious to learn more.

We were supposed to meet a potential couple in the city,

 and we didn't see them, but we also didn't really remember

 what  they looked like. So we saw a guy that could have been

 the guy we were  meeting, but he was with two other guys. 

Sister Megli was brave enough to  go up and ask him if he was

 the droid...erm man we were looking for, but he walked away. 

So, naturally we stalked him for like three blocks. 

He noticed and laughed at us. Well, it wasn't him, 

and we didn't  find our potentials, but we did find....

And then there were those two guys who were speaking what sounded like Chinese, and Sister Megli stopped them and we asked in German if they had a minute. They just stared at us, not saying anything.

We tried again.

English? 

No response.

Deutsch?

No response?

I remembered that I had a couple pamphlets in Chinese in my bag. I like them because they're so beautiful!!

Anyway, so then I ask

Chinese?

Sister Megli turns to me with this funny look that says

"Uhh...Sister Roderer? We don't speak Chinese...."

Still no response from these guys.

Blank stares all around.

Finally, one guy was like,

"Ok. So I'm kind of from America and speak English."

There was also the one door that we klingeled and they buzzed us in, and we get up there, and they've left the door open, but no one was there, and it was dark, smokey and smelly.

Like

"I've been in my apartment smoking for the last six months without showering" smelly.

We left.

We did not leave a card.

Or the sweet lady getting her mail, and still in her apron. She watched a little bit of "Because He Lives" and commented on how nice the pictures were. Then she offered us food, which we politely and sadly declined because we were fasting.

But my favorite was the guy who had heard of Mormons, and didn't have interest to meet (we tried hard to convince him otherwise) but was so excited to get a copy of the Book of Mormon.

I've thought a lot about identity this week. I mean, I always do, but this week was particularly intense.

Missions are such funny things. They're refining, enlightening, mind-blowing, and very humbling, "even to the dust".

So, during the week I finally dusted myself off, and wondered what I could change to be more believing, trusting, and confident in the future.

Insert talk from the Priesthood Session of General Conference.

"  Brethren, let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is easy--anyone can do it. It is the faithful life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to faith are far more impressive than those who give in to doubt when mysterious questions or concerns arise.  "

In thinking about it, I realized that he was not just talking about faith in God.

(Well, actually it is related to our faith in God, but in a "back door" kind of way.)

This quote also applies to how we see ourselves.

One to could change it to read...

"  Folks, let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about candle hiding.

False humility is easy--anyone can do it. It is the confident life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to their identity as powerful children of God are far more impressive than those who give in to self-pity or self-doubt when moments of weakness or apparent failure arise.  "

Also, I was thinking about the Prodigal Son, and what inspired him to go home to his father and ask for forgiveness.

Obviously pigs and a hungry stomach were involved, but I like to think of it as:

"The humility of his circumstances humbled him to remember that he was worth more than what he currently was. "

He trusted in the character of his father, which gave him confidence in himself.

We all know what happens next.

He turns in the pigs for a cow, and is welcomed home.

Understanding the character of God, and His grenzenlos love for us should fill us with confidence that we are lovable, and that we are entitled to love ourselves, and in turn, those around us.

That's the theory.

This week I was all sassy and like well, if God loves me, then I'm just supposed to accept myself? What if we're ugly, or fat, or weak, or dumb, or can't seem to do anything out of the average ordinary? Do we have to love that person too, just because God does? What if I want to be someone who is beautiful, amazing, thoughtful, clever.....(insert attribute of choice) and loving me as I am now means I have to acknowledge that I might not be those things...yet...that means I might have to love a different version of me.

I really have been trying to figure out how Gods love can replace our fears and fill us with love "to the consuming of [our] flesh."

Still working on it, but I love the idea.

Right now, and I think that might be the Hauptsache, is that trusting and having faith that His love heals all things gives us the strength to keep hoping, and keep going.

And that's the most important part.

Love always and forever,

Sister Roderer