It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas

It's been yet another incredible week here in Duisburg. And while it doesn't look anything like Christmas (warmest December they have had in like 50 years at least), it sure feels like it. I am going to go all cliche here, and say being a missionary during Christmas time is one of the greatest things in the world. All you have time for as a missionary is to think about Christ, and during the Christmas Season, we get to make up excuses to do that even more!!

Highlights:

*One of our investigators prepared for church by staying up until 12:30 Saturday night reading the Ensign...he also has watched more General Conference Sessions in the last week than most people do in 5 years.

*We had two people walk into church yesterday saying that they wanted to learn more about Jesus Christ

*I went on my first splits this week..the Sisters out here are incredible!!

*We went Christmas caroling, and everyone tried to pay us.

*We had a jam session with a street performer. (please click here to view video)

I was trying to figure out how to share how important Christ is to me, and the only thing I could think of was to write a poem.

So, here it is.

The dust, the heat, the sweat,

Fleeting traces of a thousand footprints,

suspended between heaven and hell.

The hunger of humanity, thick and heavy,

captive, servant, slave to the law of their own sorrow.

Bruised by their iniquity,

scarred by the memory of the lost, the torn, the scattered.

They are forgotten.

A babe, a child, an innocent,

born into the dust, the heat, the sweat.

Poised, a bronze-plated serpent,

tipping the scales of justice,

the single hope for humanity,

the only balm for Gilead,

the final end, and the new beginning.

A shaft of light in a dark and angry world,

a clap of thunder or roaring fire,

the silence, the holiness, the calm,

bring the wise, the men, and the kings

down to their knees.

Without money, without price,

the souls of men, purchased, bought, and paid,

won by the blood, the sweat, the tears of He who is Grace.

I know God lives. I know He loved the world so much, that He sent His Son, our Brother Jesus Christ, to be a baby. To be human, to feel what we have felt, and to be prepared to save us.

Trust Him. Take the opportunity to trust Him a little more this season.

I love you all SO MUCH!!

Sister Roderer

Duisburg

Well, folks, it's finally p-day for the Duisburg trio. It has been a jam-packed, miracle filled week!

Shorts for the week:

*We only had to wait until Saturday to get a third bed.
*The police knocked on our door while I was about to get in the shower
one morning, and asked the Sisters if they knew a guy. Turns out they
had contacted him on the bus a few days before. I had no idea it was
the police, but I was listening closely through the door, ready to
jump out if needed.
*We had Zone Conference Monday, and Missionary Leadership Council
meeting on Tuesday with Elder Johnson from the Seventy, which is why
I'm sending this on Wednesday. It was AMAZING
*We got to go to such a fun Ward Christmas Party, where three
investigators came!

The party started the moment I got arrived in Duisburg.
We go straight from the bus (where we taught half of the Restoration
lesson to this awesome guy who was so excited) to the church,
at a dead run,
with my suitcases.
hair, scarfs, and coats flying behind us, we chuck my suitcases in the
church foyer, turn right around and run for the bus going the other
direction. As Sister Johnson is locking the church door, the bus comes
up, and we run alongside it, trying to beat or meet it at the stop.
Sister Terry goes on ahead, and gets on the bus. Sister Johnson and I
are behind, hoping she can convince the driver to wait half a second
for us to cross the street and jog up the last ways.
The bus driver didn't wait,
and the driver, bus, and Sister Terry pull away.
It's been less than an hour and the drit is already separated...
We figured it all out and had a fabulous first day.

The three of us were walking to an appointment and we see this lady in
front of us. We all comment on something that she's wearing, and we
decided to go contact "classy lady". We go up behind her and say
hello, she turns around and sees three eager, sparkly eyed girls with
name tags right in her bubble, all looking at her expectantly.
Understandably, she ran away.

So when we get on the Bahn or the bus, we split up, scatter like
chickens and start conversations, usually focused on sharing the
awesome Christmas video.
This works super well, and we get to talk to a lot of people...the
only glitch has been that I have no idea where we are going.
So, a variety of things have happened...
*Look up mid-sentence to see my companions getting off of the Bahn,
and I jump up, say a hurried goodbye, basically chuck a card in their
lap then dive through the closing doors. (Only slight exaggeration)
*About to get the contact info of a really cool person, and see that
my companions are already off the Bahn and on the platform. I wedge
myself into the door to keep it from closing, and hurriedly,
frantically scribble his number, with the door beeper starting to go
off.
I wish I could say that I wrote down his number correctly....
*Trying to start a conversation, but having to keep looking back, and
popping my head up like a groundhog, trying to locate the heads of my
companions.
*Or, get the soft tap in my shoulder, and "this is our stop" and then
awkwardly "nice day"in the person I'm talking to and leave.
*Or, someone that your companion talked to on the platform sees you
sitting alone, and comes to sit by you and ask you another question
about the church.
We've met some amazing people who are so ready for the gospel. It is
such a testimony, again, to me that this is the Lord's work, not ours.
This becomes clear when a guy that was stopped by us on the street
comes to church, and talks about how he stayed up until past midnight
the night before reading the Ensign...

Also, I went up to a sweet looking lady and commented on how nice her earrings were. We talked for a bit and when I went to say goodbye, she
pulled her earrings out of her ears and gave them to me!

Something that hit me this week was hearing the account from the Old
Testament when the children of Israel were bitten by the fiery
serpents, due to their own bad choices despite warnings, and the Lord
provides a way from them to be healed. But what He provides is a snake
on a staff.

It made me realize that sometimes the very things that seem to bring
us down or cause us pain are the things, when converted through the
Atonement of Christ, will be the things that heal us. Hearts of
children turned to fathers, mirror siblings becoming unified,
annoyances at people bringing awareness, weakness being made to
strength. It's a beautiful thing.

So look at the serpents in your lives, and bring them to the Savior.
Because He was born, we don't need to fear. Or sometimes more
accurately, we can act despite it all.

All my love,
Sister Roderer

My Luck Has Tripled

There have been a lot of threes this week:

*I am moving to my third area

*I am going to be in a drit.

*We had three AMAZING people at church yesterday.

*I am packing my three suitcases...and am at the point were I feel like that's  three too many.

*It's only three weeks before Christmas!!!!!!    Have you watched the film? 
https://www.mormon.org/christmas?cid=HP_SU_11-29-2015_dMIS_fSPC_xLIDyL1-A_

*I will really miss the three missionaries and thirty+thirtyish members I am leaving in Gemeinde Mannheim.

The time has come for transfers folks!

The awesome, wonderful, inspiring, and fabulous Sister Helmick will be TRAINING here in Mannheim. I am so excited for her I can't even stand it! She is going to do such a wonderful job!

And I am leaving my beloved Mannheim to join the lovely and wonderful Sister Terry and Sister Johnson as a Sister Training Leader in Duisburg.

Transfers are a strange experience.

 

In other news...

It has been a week of miracles!
You know that finding activity we had last week? The one right before the fateful peppers?
Well, during that hour, Sister Helmick and I talked to a mother with two small children. It was a very brief conversation, but she gave us her contact info. We called her a couple of days later and we set up a time to meet on Tuesday of this week. When we got there, her teenage daughter was also there, who had just come from Nigeria two weeks before. We taught them both and they felt the Spirit. We invited the daughter to come with us to the Young Woman's activity that was happening that evening. She said yes! I was surprised that her mother would trust us so readily. The Spirit is incredible with those kinds of things! The daughter came and had a great time. We met with them again and invited them to church, and they came! It was so much fun to have them there! Everyone in the ward was really kind. What struck me the most was the change in the daughter. She is coming out of some rough stuff, but after church she was so happy and open, and she glowed! I am so excited to hear about the progress of this family!! It also hit home so HARD that the members are the key to membership. Love allows us to recognize truth. Acceptance can give us the courage to take the steps. Missionaries are the there to invite, meaning to point out what needs to be changed, but it is the members that generate the support required to make the change.

Also, I finally had that moment on my mission where I realized I was only along for the ride. I had always known that theoretically, but it is different when you feel it. I feel so blessed to be apart of the journey of one of our investigators. She is so beautiful, and her heart is soft. She said that she had realized that she needed to stop drinking coffee, and she had been weaning herself off of it, and after a lesson on the word of wisdom, she said that the next day or so, that she had lost all desire to drink it. As in, she didn't like the taste of it anymore! She said that this was incredible, because she had always been a lover of the coffee flavor! God is guiding her steps. And He can guide all of our steps as well. If we are willing to listen, He will gently redirect, encourage, build, break, bend, change, and design as necessary to bring us home and prepare us for the glory to which we have been born.

It's almost Christmas. It's the perfect time to refocus on what is most important. And remember what the point of it all is.

I highly encourage you all to watch the short film--
https://www.mormon.org/christmas/purpose-of-a-savior

If you have already seen it, then I encourage you to watch it again! :)

It's the perfect time to love yourself a little more, to forgive a little more, to trust a little more, to hope a little more, because a little babe was born in Bethlehem. Discover why for yourself!

Love always,

Sister Roderer

Surviving on a Hope

This week was wonderful.

I am so very blessed.

 

*Celebrated Thanksgiving with three Americans and a Schweizer...poetic.

*Learned what "cold" in German means...and it's not even winter yet...

*Made my first Christmas wreath!

*Healed my broken relationship with umbrellas (I found one I can actually stand!..also, it never stops raining. Progress borne of necessity).

*I learned that German/Turkish Sprite is better than American Sprite.

 

We had had a crazy couple of days. I was on edge, because I was working through some emotional nasties, and then on Tuesday we were scrambling to get ready for our split, but then the dryer function to our washer decided to give up the ghost and haunt the washing function.

This means that every time we open the washer, no matter what, our clothing is floating in an ocean of water.

So, I spent like 49 minutes Monday evening squeeching the water out of my clothing, so I would have something to wear the next day.

 

They were still wet in the morning.

That helped a lot.

 

So we were stressed because this is what was going down on Wednesday:

Zone Conference-and Sister Helmick was giving a talk

All 20 missionaries were coming to Mannheim afterwards to find people in the area, and we were in charge

We had an apartment check right after the finding

And right after we had an appointment like 30 minutes away

 

And the next two days we weren't going to be in the same city!

 

Yeah, not terrible, but we were stressed.

Everything ended beautifully, and we headed, exhausted and confused to our appointment.

 

This family, whom I ADORE was kind enough to feed us. They knew we'd have missionary appetites, so they brought out lots of food. I was eating my salad and I came across something hot.

Oh Ha!

I thought, and drank a huge gulp of Sprite. That helped. I then noticed the jalapeño looking pepper on my plate. I noticed the whole pepper in the potato dish as well, but I have a decent heat threshold, so I wasn't worried.

 

Meanwhile.

 

Back on the ranch, Sister Helmick doesn't like hot stuff. And when I say "doesn't like" I mean she straight up hates it. Like, barely-will-eat-medium-salsa hates it.

Well, she sees the pepper and figures it's a long Turkish bean of some sort, rolls it up into one big wad, and goes in for the kill.

(I'm totally oblivious, enjoying my Turkish Sprite)

She takes two bites, and the member in worry calls out to be careful, 'cause that's a spicy one.

Sister Helmick, to her credit, in a desire for good edict, chews quickly and swallows.

First there's no reaction.

Meh, ok, I think.

All of a sudden

Oh! Ooh! OW!

I turn to Sister Helmick.

She's fanning her hand in front of her face.

We all start laughing, because it was shockingly funny.

But after like five minutes, it wasn't funny anymore.

Sister Helmick had great big tears rolling down her face, and she looks at me in confused, and pained frustration and is like

"Why does it hurt so much?"

Ten minutes, two cups of goat milk, and a bowl of unsweetened yogurt later, we're finally in the clear.

I left the second piece of pepper on my plate.

Untouched.

 

 

In the quiet heat of my personal battlefield, I have felt hope, like the lifeblood of existence, seep away. I've seen the loss of hope cause a loss of confidence, the loss of confidence cause desperation, desperation cause resentment, resentment cause bitterness and regret. And that, folks, leads to straight up selfishness. Without hope, we turn inward, because all we have energy to do is to try to placate the inner demon, or the inner whatever. A loss of hope wrings loose any joy or fulfillment we should be receiving from our service, or from our sacrifices. It turns "I love you" into "I am not love-able"  and "I am willing" into "I am worthless".

 

The bottom line is that we need hope, folks.

 

So how do we keep hope with us?

 

So many easy answers, but they never EVER lose importance.

 

Here are a couple quotes that I loved reading this week that you might enjoy.

From Elder Maxwell (surprise)

 

The English word repentance is the rendering for a Greek word which means “a change of mind,” such as changing one’s view of himself, God, the universe, life, others, and so on (see Bible Dictionary, “Repentance,” 760). How good you and I get at repenting will determine how good life is. (The Holy Ghost: Glorifying Christ)

 

Being content means acceptance without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls. (Content with the Things Allotted unto Us)

 

 

I gotta run, but here's my challenge for the week.

 

Can you improve your life this week by repenting and changing the way to see yourself or someone around you, and then be content with the experiences you have?

When we do that, we survive on hope. And that's what we gotta do.

 

All my love,

 

Sister Roderer

Cream of the Carp

Well, this week is done and gone...to quote C. S. Lewis this week is "One more portion of one's self slipping away into the past". Or Mary Warnock when she says "Anything that is over...is a lost possession...The past is a paradise from which we are necessarily excluded."

 

On that note, here's the rundown of our week:

 

*We saw Elder Ballard in person on Tuesday.

*We had snow everyday this week, except for the six days of rain.

*We gave two of our investigators to the Elders because it felt right.

*Our miracle investigator, turns out, lives outside of our area, so he will be taught by the missionaries in his area.

*The Christmas Festivals started opening this week.

*Fried-Apple yogurt is my new favorite food.

 

We wanted to have a Street Display on Saturday, but it started to rain.

A lot.

So we decided in order to have this street display, we would need to have a tent to cover us and the copies of the Book of Mormon, so we got permission to buy one, and went on a hunt for a tent.

I asked Siri (on the iPad) where there were stores with camping gear, and we were directed to two possible locations.

I picked the one closest to us and off we went, ducking under drippy doorways and avoiding puddles.

After ten minutes of walking like this, we found ourselves in a rather sketchy part of Mannheim.

Finally, we get to this weird corner of the street and I'm looking for the address, and I see this dingy looking store, which I walk right by, because I'm looking for a camping store, not a dim-lit kiosk.

My mistake.

This dim-lit kiosk with the cartoon whale on the side with the sign "Moby Dick Fishing" was Siri's recommendation.

Never again, Siri. We're over.

I sort of, cautiously pull the door knob and peek inside, then immediately shut it again.

"Sister Helmick.... I don't think we are going to find our tent in there. I don't want to go in, we'll look super awkward."

But, I figure that I'm just being a baby, and should go in there.

So we do.

This shop is about as big as our bedroom, and is covered, wall to ceiling, in all sorts of lures and fishing poles.

The only people in the store are three very German men, two of which are burly, and all three of which are hairy.

One very fast glance around, and I knew we probably wouldn't find our tent there.

The men, meanwhile are looking at us in total confusion.

Not every day you see two well-dressed white American girls in their twenties checking out the local German fishing store.

Little did they know that we were actually expert fisher women, only we fish for a different sort. (See Matthew 4:19 or Mark 1:17)

We did find fishing waders large enough to be a tent, but decided against it.

We are still tent-less, but we've been culturally enriched.

 

 

I don't believe that any of us are weak. We most certainly have weaknesses, but I don't think we as people, are weak. It is not in our spiritual genetics. Even those who seem to be weak, so much of what we do is in defense or reaction to our earlier behavior. We are creatures of self-discovery and self-awareness, but also of self-fixing and self-evaluating. To me, that is an indication of our inner resilience.

 

But, what I do believe, is that we want desperately to hear the words that will validate us.

We need to feel that we understand the "why" behind the things that hurt the most. This is why the Plan of Salvation is so important. It gives us the answers to the big "whys" of life.

But there are so many smaller things that we crave explanations to. And when we don't get the explanation, it is our tendency to address the discomfort the "why" leaves in its wake. We do this through substances, movies, music, food, and other forms of stimuli. I find it interesting that when we can't feel the resolution we want to feel, we try then to just feel something, almost anything, to try to fill the hole.

Hm.... I change my earlier statement. We're not weak, we can just be really dumb sometimes.

...Just kidding.

Like last night, I had this moment where I looked into the bottom of my empty ice cream bowl and realized that the "prize" was not at the bottom, the way I was hoping it would be. I've tried this a few times...it's never there.

Trust me. ;)

I know that this is the case, but every time, without fail, if you were to tell me that I'd find happiness at the bottom of that bowl, container, or box, I'd believe you.

A quote comes to mind: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

 

Awkward.

 

Not only do I eat too much ice cream, I also am on the edge of insanity.

That's comforting.

 

But, the important thing is to really search for the understanding that we need to keep going. Sometimes we think it needs to be understanding enough for the whole year, or for the whole decade, or a lifetime, but really, we need just enough understanding to get through a day or an hour. We change a little bit everyday, our cells are constantly changing, dying, growing, and everything in between, and we are basically in a constant state of morphing. That's why faith needs so much up keeping.

Faith for us yesterday is not faith for today.

That's why we need to be praying constantly. That's why old things come back in new situations, and that's why time is precious, and why consistency is the difference between theory and reality.

It's incredible!

The vibrancy, the intensity, the beauty and complexity of life leaves me breathless.

It's dazzling and strange, inspiring and difficult, healing and wounding all at the same time!

 

So folks, read your scriptures, say your prayers. Give something old up, and take in something new. Go discover something.

 

I just want you all to know that I don't know the exact words that you are craving to hear, but I do want you to know that I think you're wonderful. I thought you were wonderful yesterday, and I know you'll still be wonderful tomorrow.

 

But oh so much better is the love of God our Father who knows you perfectly, in all of your states, and His Son, your Brother, who paid the price for your soul, thereby unlocking you from the chains of yesterday and setting you free into the brilliant dawn of tomorrow.

 

Enough with the cheesy adjectives.

 

Love you all!

 

 

Sister Roderer

Chocolate and Leapfrogs

We have started doing this thing where we try to talk to the first person we see once we get out of the apartment, and that has been really fun, because it just starts the day off with a bang!

So we were on our street and I see this guy, so naturally, I go up to him, and start the missionary spiel.

He pretty hard core shuts me down.

So, we keep walking, and I look down and see an entire chocolate bar on the ground.It was unwrapped, as if someone was about to take a bite and then some tragic unfortunate event made them drop it, naked, onto the street.

I see this and tears almost well up in my eyes.

I turn to Sister Helmick and am like

"Well, I guess you know you've gotten over rejection when the sight of a chocolate bar on the ground is more painful than getting rejected on the street."

Isn't perspective a beautiful thing?

 

We had a lot of fun doing doors this week!!

We walked into this "residential square" park thing, and we see two things:

First: a car is backing out of the residential square, and luck has it that he basically has to back straight out for several feet before he can access the main road.

Second: right in front of us (and in the way of the car in reverse) an innocent bystander is just trying to cross.

So, of course, we stop the innocent bystander, and in the process, the car has to wait for us before it can keep backing up.

The innocent bystander takes a card and continues on his merry way, and we turn to go klingel a less active. As the car backs by us, I notice that the window is open, and my thoughts go like this:

Hmmm I should toss a Book of Mormon into the open window....I wonder if we could contact him through the window?

Oohs...we should stop him.

With this thought, I turn to Sister Helmick and ask her opinion. She said she has the same feeling, so we pull a 180 and chase this car. We are literally jogging after this car, and it's awkward, because he can see us jogging toward him as he backing out.

We start talking to him and turns out he used to be a member, but due to things I can't explain with missionary language (haha just kidding), actually due to insensitivity and fear, things happened and he separated himself from the truth that he felt.

It broke my heart to hear him talk.

Leapfrogs and toadstools, we are all in this together. We need to be kind, folks. Promise me you'll be kind?

Bitte?

 

One thought I've had in the last couple of weeks is that difficulty does not equal fear, and that this gospel is about "when" not "if".

I've always said that happiness is not the absence of pain, but rather the presence of purpose or progression, and on my mission, that theory has been put to the test.

I still hold firmly to it.

This life is about coming to know, and that has to include rough spots.

I also know that real inner happiness must include the continual sammeln of personal revelation, or communication with God through the Holy Ghost.

And no, I don't actually care how busy you are, or how many good things you are doing, or how hard it is to take the time to read in the scriptures or pray or fulfill your visiting or home teaching. If you are not gathering daily nourishment directly from God then you will soon find that you are going in circles.

And not the helix kind.

We are beings of intelligence, and folks, "the glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth." Doctrine and Covenants 93:36

The only way to really feel fulfilled is through increased light, for that is our nature and our destiny, to be powerful, due to the light of the intelligence within us.

I know it can be hard.

I know it can be discouraging and sometimes frustrating.

And of course I do actually care about why it's hard, but God has not given and will NEVER give us anything to do that is too hard to achieve.

 

Everyday I invite people to come closer to Christ by acting on a small atom of faith. My favorite thing to do is to ask people if they believe in God and if so, what He means to them. I love it when people say that they don't believe, or that they don't believe that He could be anything other than a distant and unknowable power, let alone a kind, personable, tender Father. I love it because then I get to bear witness of who God is. I get to promise them that they can get to know for themselves who and what God is.

 

Folks, we all have to know for sure at some point or another.

I believe in a God who is my Father.

I "know" in a God who answers prayers.

I "know" in a God cares about you totally and completely.

I "know" in a God who wipes away tears off of faces, who motivates and builds, who inspires and cheerleads.

 

I "know" in a God who loves you with enough power to totally heal your scars.

 

I love you all,

 

Sister Roderer

Sonnenschein in My Soul

This week has

 

blown. my. mind.

 

Seriously, it has been so much fun!

 

Sister Helmick is an incredible missionary, a beautiful and elegant person, a rockstar companion, and simply a wonderful person. We've had lots of good times already these last couple of days, and we've been showered with miracles.

 

This week we got to do a new type of finding activity. We wrote the question "Are you happy today?" On a whiteboard, went on the university campus (which used to be a castle) and asked EVERYBODY how they were feeling.

We laughed so much! It connected us with people in a split second, and we had something to share, and they asked us why in the world we would be doing something like that, and we were be able to bear testimony of the joy that comes through the gospel.

We would flash the sign to people in cars, and get their thumbs up or down to add to our tally. It was so successful and we were filled with so much energy.

 

Truth is like a force field, and I invite you all to be blown away! Haha

We went to bed so tired that first full day serving together, it was magical.

 

Best part of the finding activity.....we are talking to this adorable German guy who's like an eligible bachelor, and told him that we gave up "relationships with men" to come on missions.

That's literally what I said.

Don't ask me why, I haven't found a suitable answer yet.

He giggled.

And blushed.

A lot.

I promise I don't flirt to convert...

but I don't think he'll be forgetting us anytime soon.

 

There another time when we walked passed a guy, and we both felt like we should talk to him, but we kept walking, and then turned around and we literally jogged him down. He had interest in meeting with us!

 

And then there were that guy from Africa who was so spiritual, and as we talked to him his friend walked by, and he waved him over, saying that we were Christian. Sister Helmick testified of the Book of Mormon, and turns out, happened to have a French Book of Mormon in her bag, which was their mother tongue. Then we bore down in pure testimony and told them that God was calling their names, and that they needed to listen. The power in that moment was crazy, and we all felt it and were changed.

 

And that's only the beginning!!

 

 

 

Hope has been on my mind today,

as usual...

But I was thinking about what hope is. I'm very much a touchy-feely person, so I base my successes in the moment on how I'm feeling.

I guess I always assumed that hope felt like, well, hope. Warm, slightly fuzzy, with a hint of mint or orange.

I mean, I can't really describe it, but I always figured it'd feel sweet.

However, there are some days, I've decided that one can have hope without feeling it.

Or, more accurately, my definition of hope has changed.

 

Hope is the glimmer of perspective that gives us enough courage to take a step into the dark.

Or sometimes three or four steps into the dark.

 

Missions are so cool in the sense that they provide a training ground for life. One goes through life cycles at an accelerated rate and with such intense emotional compression that patterns become crystal clear. So, in the past few weeks, I've struggled, fought, and learned, and in my learning, I've realized that hope can be subtle.

 

But that doesn't make it any less powerful.

 

It talks about the voice of the Spirit in the scriptures as being a "still, small voice" and not being the sound of the wind or of fire or of thunder, but a voice of stillness. I've felt two versions of stillness this week, which have been totally different from each other and has deepened my ability to hear.

 

First: In moments of conflict, it's easy to feel like a overall warmth, or erasing of the pain, or total solution is the best antidote to the uneasiness of conflict. But, I've learned this week that when we act on the "glimmer of perspective" despite not feeling the "warmth" we might be expecting, it deepens our faith and we are more able to own what we do. It's like the difference between making brownies from the box or making brownies from scratch. Both work, both have their place, but when we choose to have hope when the hoping is hard, we get to know each ingredient and we can then begin to recreate the brownies in our lives in all situations and circumstances. Our ability to make brownies is no longer dependent on a recipe or specific ingredients.

So the silence was the moment of feeling like there was a blank spot where my choice was supposed to be and where I had the opportunity to choose to act on what I felt I knew. It has never occurred to me that that could be a form of silence or stillness. Sometimes the truth requires us to let go of the familiar sounds of past and embrace a new melody. Sometimes we have to track down the silence to find what we need to learn.

 

 

Second: This week there was a moment when the Bishop, our ward mission leader, and all four of us Mannheim missionaries were in the same room. There was a power, an excitement, and urgency that silenced all fears and doubt. It was almost like electricity, that zapped out all negative feelings and left me feeling empowered and limitless.

This is the Lord's work. He is "able to do His own work." And we get to be a part of it.

 

My challenge to you all this week is to find a new way that God speaks to you. He is trying to get your attention. You are exquisitely important to Him. Tune in to His voice by making your prayers more specific, your scripture study a higher priority, your obedience more energized, and by taking moments to be still.

 

And call me when you get back my dear. I love our visits (name the movie)

 

 

All my love,

 

Sister Roderer

How Can I keep From Singing?

Where Martin Luther stood and defended his reformation of the

 Catholic Church

This week was intense.
It was the final few days of getting everything ready before the
Musikalische Abend, one last trip to the doctors for"Michelle", lost
our baptism date, and transfer calls! Quite the busy week of "hurry up
and wait".

And then I caught a cold.
That wa"snot" what I was expecting, nor was it what I was trying catch.
You see, I was singing two pieces in this fireside, and I needed my voice!
After drinking about 100000000 gallons of fresh ginger tea, lots of
prayers, scarfs, staying inside, and vitamin C, the day of the
Musikalische Abend arrived.

It was like Christmas morning.

But first, transfer calls.....

Everybody's leaving but me.

I am the one and only missionary currently in Mannheim that will be
staying in Mannheim.
But, I'll be joined by the fabulous Sister Helmick, who was in my MTC
group, and Elder Ninow and Elder Fultz, who, rumor has it, are pretty
great as well.

Sister Megli is going to Kaiserslautern English (AMERICA) speaking for
her last two transfers.
Elders Ostler and Beverlin are getting transferred to actual America.

Also, Saturday we spent the entire day carrying random things around Mannheim and across Käfertal.
Like a scale.
Or a living room lamp.
Or 4-5 dozen cookies.

The things one does as a missionary. :)

A couple miracles from the week, though.

We were sitting in a Bahn, and we saw this really nice looking lady
get on. We sit in one set of four seats, and she sits in the set
across from us. Sister Megli and I are sitting kitty corner in our set
of four.
My goal is to invite her to the Musikalische Abend. At first, we don't
say anything, we just look at each other and smile really big.
Sweetly awkward...
Finally, I lean across the isle, and strike up a conversation.

At the next stop, an older lady gets on, and quasi joins the conversation.
Then, all of a sudden, this young guy gets on the Bahn and sits down
right next to S. Megli, and across from me. He has large gauges, two
lip rings, and hair down to his shoulders with one side of his head
shaved short (thank you Hunger Games for inspiring a whole new kind of
hair-do in Europe...). He was dressed all in black, and kindly sharing
his music (that he was listening to with head phones) with the entire
Bahn.
Not mission appropriate music, in case you were wondering.
I just kinda stop talking, because I was a little awed by this guy.
And then, I noticed his eyes.
They were kind, young, and alive with healthy intelligence.
I was intrigued.
I eventually continued my conversation with the lady across the way,
and gave her an invite. She gets off, and the I offer an invite to the
older lady. She also gets off.
Now it's just us and the guy. I had this internal debate in my head as
to whether or not I should offer him an invite. I felt like the music
he was listening to was a good indication as to whether or not he's
enjoy our music choices.
But I knew that I would regret not offering him one, so I did.
He was expecting it, and gave one defined nod, and took it, folded it
once, and put it in his coat. Sister Megli and I were shocked and
nearly fell off our chairs.
He didn't end up coming, but someone else really cool did.

We found out that a guy was given an invite in the city (either from
us sisters or a member who works in the city) and gave it to his
friend who turns out is Mormon, and they both walk an hour and a half
to get to the church.
Folks!
An hour and a half!!!!
WALKING

The musical night was SO COOL! We had some great people show up, and
they seemed to really enjoy it. It was also well attended by the
members, and it was just so much fun!
I was so stressed, because people didn't show up when I thought they
would, and weird little things happened, but then it just all went
smoothly.
Everyone did a beautiful job, and everybody was so great, and nice,
and people actually came!!
My favorite comment was a non-member said that it was like the musical
Jesus Christ superstar. The music Saturday was a lot more appropriate
though haha.

I was just so excited.

The Lord is so good!

This email is already super long, so I just want to say again that
it's worth it.

The gospel is true and it is worth it.


All my love!

Sister Roderer

Ping's Flowers

 It's been a fun week!

Highlights:



*Our little seven-year-old looked at the Sons of Mosiah in the

children reader Book of Mormon and yells "fitness!" It was so funny!

Their headbands looked like fitness bands to him!

*All these potential investigators are coming to the Musikalische

Abend! One woman came to church a couple weeks ago with her friend,

and enjoyed Relief Society a lot and ended up staying for choir

practice. She's coming to sing!

*I felt the power of the gift of tongues this week. We went to a

member's house to pray for someone who randomly stopped coming to

church. I thought she was going to say the prayer, but I had a funny

feeling that she would ask me.

She did.

I wouldn't be able to repeat to you what I said in the prayer. I used

grammar and words that I have NEVER used before. The Spirit was

strong.



*I hit my half-way mark this week.







We went to the first part of the Stake Relief Society Meeting on

Saturday, because I was asked to play flute as part of someone's talk.

In this talk, she told the most intriguing parable.





   There once was a king who in his old age had no sons, so he began

his search for an heir. He sent a proclamation throughout the land

that all who wanted, could come and try for the throne. Once all of

the people were gathered, he gave each potential heir two seeds, and

told them to plant the seeds, and in a years time, the person who had

grown the most beautiful flower would become the next king.

    There was a young man named Ping. He was excited about the

"quest", because he had grown many beautiful flowers, and he knew he

could do a good job.

    He carefully took the seeds home and planted them in rich and

nutritious soil, and set the pot by the window in perfect sunlight.

Everyday, he did all he knew how to do for the seeds. He watered and

nourished them carefully, but they didn't sprout. He knew that some

seeds took longer than other seeds, so he kept trying, and waiting.

       Still nothing happened. He moved the pot to a better patch of

sunlight, he was even more careful about watering and fertilizing, he

even started talking and singing to the seeds, and still nothing

happened.

    Eventually, the time came to bring his flower back to the king.

He wept to his father, afraid and ashamed that he would bring this

empty pot of dirt to the king. His father hugged him, and told him

that he should go to the king with his head held high, because he had

done all he could. His father told him that he had noticed how

diligently Ping had watched over this plant.

    Ping felt the truth of what his father had said, so he took his

pot and began the journey to the palace. On his way, he saw many other

people with pots full of beautiful flowers. They began to make fun of

him, and he began to feel ashamed. He knew he had grown more beautiful

flowers before, but here he was with a pot full of dirt. Then he

remembers what his father said, and lifts his head and continues on to

the palace.

   The king slowly goes down the row of flowers, studying each on

carefully. As he comes to Ping's pot, he stops short and declares that

Ping would be the new king.

    Everyone was confused, but then the king went on to say that the

seeds he had given out were cooked, and could not have sprouted.



It made me think about the things we try to do to prove our worth and

make sure that we are being good people. I think we forget that the

seeds are cooked. Meaning, what we do is not as important as what we

become.


We were listening to a talk by Blaine Yorgensen, and he said something

interesting...





"   The true test of being a Mormon isn't how many commandments we

keep, it's how much we love.   "



Love what you do.



I gave a Thema on obeying with your heart. I used an example from

physics. The compliance of something determines how well it keeps a

new shape under pressure. So if something causes a piece of metal to

change shape, the compliance determines if it stays like that. When we

are compliant to the commandments, it doesn't mean we are then all of

a sudden cool people or worthwhile people, we are allowing the will of

God to change who we are becoming.



God lives.

He loves you.

I love you too!



Sister Roderer
A visit from Sister Eschenmann. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Dust In The Wind

A lederhosen wearing brass quartet!

 Smiles and pass-a-long cards all around!

This week was incredible!! Mannheim is starting to gather some steam, and I am loving the ride!

Highlights from the week:

*Our mission made a goal of setting 10 baptismal dates this week throughout the mission, and we set 17 instead. Sister Megli and I contributed!

*There are a lot of people from China here to study at the University in Mannheim. Often they are interested in learning more, because usually God is not someone they know very well, and they are curious, so we always try to talk to them. So, the other day, we were walking by a bus stop, or actually BEHIND a bus stop, and Sister Megli sees this girl sitting on the bench, and she's whispers to me

"Go talk to her, I think she's Asian!"

So I turn around and run over there, and go up to her. She's got her headphones in, but I say clearly and distinctly

"Entschuldigung." (excuse me)

She looks up and pulls her headphones out.

Clearly NOT Asian.

There was this this split second where Sister Megli and I both freeze and in my head I'm like..

Sister Megli??

But it was too late to go back, so I start talking to her.

It ended up being a lovely conversation, and she was curious to learn more.

We were supposed to meet a potential couple in the city,

 and we didn't see them, but we also didn't really remember

 what  they looked like. So we saw a guy that could have been

 the guy we were  meeting, but he was with two other guys. 

Sister Megli was brave enough to  go up and ask him if he was

 the droid...erm man we were looking for, but he walked away. 

So, naturally we stalked him for like three blocks. 

He noticed and laughed at us. Well, it wasn't him, 

and we didn't  find our potentials, but we did find....

And then there were those two guys who were speaking what sounded like Chinese, and Sister Megli stopped them and we asked in German if they had a minute. They just stared at us, not saying anything.

We tried again.

English? 

No response.

Deutsch?

No response?

I remembered that I had a couple pamphlets in Chinese in my bag. I like them because they're so beautiful!!

Anyway, so then I ask

Chinese?

Sister Megli turns to me with this funny look that says

"Uhh...Sister Roderer? We don't speak Chinese...."

Still no response from these guys.

Blank stares all around.

Finally, one guy was like,

"Ok. So I'm kind of from America and speak English."

There was also the one door that we klingeled and they buzzed us in, and we get up there, and they've left the door open, but no one was there, and it was dark, smokey and smelly.

Like

"I've been in my apartment smoking for the last six months without showering" smelly.

We left.

We did not leave a card.

Or the sweet lady getting her mail, and still in her apron. She watched a little bit of "Because He Lives" and commented on how nice the pictures were. Then she offered us food, which we politely and sadly declined because we were fasting.

But my favorite was the guy who had heard of Mormons, and didn't have interest to meet (we tried hard to convince him otherwise) but was so excited to get a copy of the Book of Mormon.

I've thought a lot about identity this week. I mean, I always do, but this week was particularly intense.

Missions are such funny things. They're refining, enlightening, mind-blowing, and very humbling, "even to the dust".

So, during the week I finally dusted myself off, and wondered what I could change to be more believing, trusting, and confident in the future.

Insert talk from the Priesthood Session of General Conference.

"  Brethren, let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is easy--anyone can do it. It is the faithful life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to faith are far more impressive than those who give in to doubt when mysterious questions or concerns arise.  "

In thinking about it, I realized that he was not just talking about faith in God.

(Well, actually it is related to our faith in God, but in a "back door" kind of way.)

This quote also applies to how we see ourselves.

One to could change it to read...

"  Folks, let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about candle hiding.

False humility is easy--anyone can do it. It is the confident life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to their identity as powerful children of God are far more impressive than those who give in to self-pity or self-doubt when moments of weakness or apparent failure arise.  "

Also, I was thinking about the Prodigal Son, and what inspired him to go home to his father and ask for forgiveness.

Obviously pigs and a hungry stomach were involved, but I like to think of it as:

"The humility of his circumstances humbled him to remember that he was worth more than what he currently was. "

He trusted in the character of his father, which gave him confidence in himself.

We all know what happens next.

He turns in the pigs for a cow, and is welcomed home.

Understanding the character of God, and His grenzenlos love for us should fill us with confidence that we are lovable, and that we are entitled to love ourselves, and in turn, those around us.

That's the theory.

This week I was all sassy and like well, if God loves me, then I'm just supposed to accept myself? What if we're ugly, or fat, or weak, or dumb, or can't seem to do anything out of the average ordinary? Do we have to love that person too, just because God does? What if I want to be someone who is beautiful, amazing, thoughtful, clever.....(insert attribute of choice) and loving me as I am now means I have to acknowledge that I might not be those things...yet...that means I might have to love a different version of me.

I really have been trying to figure out how Gods love can replace our fears and fill us with love "to the consuming of [our] flesh."

Still working on it, but I love the idea.

Right now, and I think that might be the Hauptsache, is that trusting and having faith that His love heals all things gives us the strength to keep hoping, and keep going.

And that's the most important part.

Love always and forever,

Sister Roderer

Unicorns, Candy, and Mormons

This week is the week it became clearer than ever that this is God's work, not mine.

This is also the week it became clearer than ever that God loves each
of His children, and has a specific, fascinating, and perfectly
applicable plan for the salvation of each of His children. He's
interested in getting us home, granting us light and enlightenment,
peace, hope, celestial expectation, and joy.
He wants us to be happy now and for eternity.

Contrastly, sometimes I'm over here like....hmmm I want me some chocolate.
I think although chocolate has its place in mortal joy, there's no
denying that, I learned that there is something greater.
In the spirit of General Conference and Zone Conference, I was trying
to figure what I could do to honor the Sabbath Day a little bit more.

Wear Sunday clothes all day? Do that every day
Only read scriptures and church books? CHECK
Don't watch inappropriate movies? I don't even WATCH movies
Don't listen to inappropriate music? EFY, anyone?

Then the inspiration came. Don't eat chocolate or candy or treats on Sunday.

Oh. *quickly chews and swallows the Christmas rittersport I was eating*

Folks, it works!! My Sabbath was more powerful to me because I didn't
eat candy or chocolate yesterday (after I got he inspiration)...until
I hopped the fence and gave in to cereal. But the cool thing was, I
really felt a difference! I urge you to try it, too. Pray and listen,
act, and then celebrate the difference. I'm excited for next Sunday,
so I can do it again!

Two best reactions ever:

First: We were meeting with this really cool guy for the first time,
and Sister Megli was doing a fabulous job of "how to begin teaching"
and setting expectations with him, and she asked why he chose to meet
with us.
He's like
"I've never met a Mormon in real life before...you're like unicorns!"

Why, thank you, Charlie.

Second: We were doing some doors in a student apartment complex, and
we started talking to this super neat guy. We said who we were
(The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)
talked to him a bit about who we are and what we do, and then asked
him if he wanted to meet and learn more. He was a bit tentative, but
agreed to meet.
We gave him our card and he looks at it and is like all excited
"You're the MORMONS? Why didn't you SAY so before?"
In that moment, I felt a little more like a moron, than a Mormon.
That's not the typical reaction, folks, I've never had to respond to
that before! And it made my entire week.



We were challenged by our Mission President to read the Book of Mormon
all the way through by the end of the year, so I've been trying to
semi "speed read" through the Book of Mormon in German.
Wish me luck!
But, there has been one thing that I noticed. You know how every
president of the church has a theme?
Pres. Benson was The Book of Mormon,
Pres. Hinckely was temples,
and Pres. Monson is following the Holy Ghost.
Well, as far as I can tell, Nephi had a theme too. (In 1Nephi, anyway.
I'll let you know what I find as I go further.)

Evidence.

Again and again, Nephi takes about being "shown" or something along
those lines. Even in the chapters from Isaiah that he quotes in 1
Nephi, Isaiah says again and again something like "damit sie wissen"
or, "that they may know".

Cool, right?

I realized that sometimes I don't imagine God so excited to show me
evidence of His truth. I get so caught up in being ok with not getting
an answer right away, or I feel trepidation at the change that might
be in store, I forget just how much God loves me and all of His
children.

Also, awesome quote from Zone Conference:
"Don't try to change yourself on the mission...let the mission change you."

So my challenge is this:
Pray for something you need, like an answer, or hope or peace, and
then let life answer you. Let God answer you.
In a very hippie sort of way, let the good flow to you.
You'll avoid lots of pitfalls that way.
I can promise you.
Simplify, like President Uchtdorf suggested, and know that the Master
and Creator of Heaven and Earth is able to do His own work, He is able
to answer you.

Our job is to look for His answer, not only in the simple things, but
in everything.
I promise it will change your life. And you too, can go skipping down
the path of life, like a pioneer girl in a painting.

A Wart Named Michelle

It's been quite the week. Sister Megli has had this wart on her toe for the last couple of months that has been super painful, so we went to the praxis to get it taken care of.

 

It was an adventure.

 

First of all, they couldn't decide what Sister Megli's first name was, and then they didn't quite know what to do with her middle name. We hadn't even gotten to the wart yet!

( So, Sister Megli's name is Erin Michelle Megli.)

Then, we get into the office, and the doctor looks down at her papers, and then looks up at Sister Megli and asks

"Who is Michelle?"

We both looked at her kind of blankly, then we all sort of figured it out.

Well enough.

We decided later that Michelle was the wart, and what Sister Megli should have said when the doctor asked

"Who is Michelle?"

was

"Why that's the wart, ma'am...Would you care to meet her?"

 

We got to participate in a super cool service activity this week. There is this awesome member going to Vietnam, and she always takes these little "candy bomber" packages of candy to the orphanage that she visits. So, we got to help her package a ton of German candy into cute little packages to give to the kids. So much fun!

 

 

My brother wrote something in his email last week that I found interesting.

He said:

" The great thing is that the Lord works with you in whatever shape you're in. "

It reminded me of what Elder Holland said in General Conference in his "Lord, I Believe" talk.

" Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. "

There were multiple experiences this week that reminded me of this principle, but I'm only going to share one of them.

It was after church yesterday, and we were casually invited to a after church luncheon with some of the members of the ward, but we could tell it was more of a ward thing than a missionary thing, so we decided to go when we could have stayed. So that one choice put us on the Bahn at exactly the right time. We ended up behind this guy who was sitting by himself. Then an older lady got on, and tried to stamp her Bahn card with the "open door" button instead of the time stamper. The guy noticed what happened, and helped her out. He stamped her card, and then gave her his seat. And then....get this! He turns to her and asks her

"Do you know of any good churches in the area? I'm looking for a church."

Sister Megli and I almost fell out of our Bahn seats. We looked at each other and then planned out what we were going to do next.

We followed him off of the Bahn, and stopped him. Turns out he lives near the church, and is totally interested in coming and meeting with us. MIRACLE!

 

The things that led up to us being on the Bahn included some personal weakness, but our weakness put us in the right place at the right time.

 

"Our own intellectual shortfalls and perplexities do not alter the fact of God’s astonishing foreknowledge, which takes into account our choices for which we are responsible." Elder Maxwell

 

That's something that I have always believed. I've always been of the opinion that God's perfect plan had to include the undeniable fact that folks were going to mess up, misunderstand, misinterpret, and miss seeing eye-to-eye. If He didn't plan for that, there's no way that His plan could be even close to perfect. Some people make try to think of this as God taking control, or being a puppet on a string, or not really having agency, or something of the like. But I want to testify, with all the force of this 5'6, missionary-badged person of mine that His perfection covers our imperfection, and that without Him, no matter how cool or good or well-educated we become, we would still be living a lie, because without God, we can never truly know ourselves.

 

This quote again, because it blows my mind every time.

 

by Joseph Smith:

 

“What kind of a being is God?” he asked. Human beings needed to know, he argued, because “if men do not comprehend the character of God they do not comprehend themselves."

You may wonder why you have certain weaknesses, or certain shortcomings, or tendencies, or trauma, or opinions, or whatever it is, but I'm here to tell you that there is a reason. There are no "bystanders" in the marathon of life, unless we consciously choose to be. There is always another round, where we can "get back into the game".

That's the final glory of the Atonement.

Even our greatest failures can be the fiery catalyst that catapults us out of self-centered, narrow-minded mortality, into glorious freedom.

We need each other's strengths,

but shockingly enough,

we also need each other's weaknesses.

We're all trying to get home, and live life fully on the way there.

 

Your weaknesses are a part of that process.

 

May our gracious, tender, all-knowing, all-loving, perfect Heavenly Father be thanked for loving us enough to know that we need to know what it is like to be weak.

 

The beautiful thing is that your worth exists outside of your weakness.

 

 

And sometimes even through it.

 

 

All my love, always.

 

 

 

Sister Roderer

 

Caught in Flight

It's been a fun week here in Mannheim. Lots and lots of rain, fall is HERE, it's finally time to wear boots again, and I've learned some skills that I never knew I would on a mission. 

Yesterday was a Kinder Spektakulär in the big main park in Mannheim. There were a ton of booths with different activities for kids, and the church was in charge of one of these booths. We were not sure what we were going to be asked to do, but face painting, balloon animal making, and rubber band bracelet making was not all on the expected list.

 

I face painted for 4.5 hours.

Folks, I've never face painted in my life.

Whose idea was that? This is coming from the girl who cannot draw a straight line.

With a ruler.

Now you want me to paint something on a child's face that's supposed to be recognizable afterwards?

Good Night!

Mercifully, the Lord's plan is perfect, miracles do happen, and most of the kids wanted to be cats or pirates.

I always talk about being able to reach dreams, like they are just something you can pull off of the shelf and pop open and "just add milk".

I'm always going off about wings, and flying, deserving, and attaining dreams. Today, though, I've been thinking about what you do when your wings are in the shop, or broken, or scratched, or just really ugly.

How do you fly if you can't get off the ground? Or don't want to be seen once you do?

Something that hit my soul in the head like a ton full of bricks is that I realized that I have spent most of my life thinking about what I could do, rather than what I can do.

For example: "If I had just felt a little more comfortable about myself, I would have been myself and he would have asked me out on a date."

Or, something more personally relevant: "If I wasn't bogged down with gluten, I would be clear headed enough to say something thoughtful, like I usually try to do."

Or yesterday, I played a movement from the Undine Sonata in Sacrament meeting with this really cool person from the ward. "If my lips weren't so dry, and if I had had my Chapstick dabei, I would have played with my usual sound."

I found that I am continually excusing myself from less than profi performance by assuring myself that I could have done all of those things splendidly, had I had the right circumstances.

With this train of thought, I have in effect, been raining on my own parade, or switching the railroad switch, so that my train of experience runs off course, then blaming the weather for the mess I am in.

I think it is so important to accept what we can do in the exact moment we are doing it. Once we are willing to do that, no matter what or how much that is, we will take our foot off the break, and we will be able to do more than we expected.

Wanting and trying to give more than we can give in that moment, to satisfy some understanding of our own worth, is in a sense, selfish. To give all that we have, to give it all to the Lord, and give it freely, that is what expands our ability to be able not only give, but to receive.

"  Surging selfishness, for example, has shrunken some people into ciphers; they seek to erase their emptiness by sensations. But in the arithmetic of appetite, anything multiplied by zero still totals zero! Each spasm of selfishness narrows one’s universe that much more by reducing his awareness of or concern with others. In spite of its outward, worldly swagger, such indulgent individualism is actually provincial, like goldfish in a bowl congratulating themselves on their self-sufficiency, never mind the food pellets or changes of water. 

Because selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion.  " Elder Maxwell

That's how you fly, when flying doesn't seem possible. Like a penguin or an emu. If you can't fly in the sky, fly in the water or across the sand. But, you can always fly.

Sister Roderer

Welcoming our new Zone Leader at the Mannheim Bahnhof