Stars

  Hallo my dears,
This what I am looking at as I am writing this email. This is why having iPads ROCKS.

I also learned that the most dangerous animal in Deutschland is the tick, and that Deutschland doesn't have any real/legit natural predators. If you ask me, small bugs that suck your blood and spread diseases seem pretty predatorial to me. :) Just know that as I am writing this, I am also totally paranoid about every little itch. I definitely feel preyed upon. Haha Oh well.

This week has been so fantastic. We worked really hard, and did all that we knew how to do, and the Lord sent us miracles. It has also been close to 100 degrees all week, so that just added loads and loads and loads of fun to our work here. I do have the most amazing foot tan line, though.

We experienced our first "flirt to convert" scenario this week, which was totally hilarious, but not something that I would either encourage or readily repeat. After some flirting nonsense on their part I asked them
"Would you like to get to know God better?"
To which they responded
"No, we would like to get to know you two better"
No can do, sonny.
But they took a Book of Mormon, and as we walked away, they yelled (in English)
"We hope the next year and a half goes by very quickly so that you can start living."
I yelled back
"We ARE living"
"No, you just think you are."
"Maybe you just think you are. Maybe you'll find something in that book if you choose to read it."
That's what I like to call missionary work, middle-school style.
 
 We did a bunch of go-bys that were pretty far away, like 1.5 hours each direction, and required a bus, a train, another bus, and feet in order to get there. We saw sooo many miracles, both at the go-bys and unterwegs. It amazes me how much success is about timing. Being at the door, waiting at the bus stop, getting lost so that you are right there when you need to talk to someone, smiling, crying, praying, trying, all of these variables make up a kind of miracle timeline. We assume way too often, in my opinion, that our weaknesses mess up our success. If we are relying on the Lord, that will never be the case. All the molecules in this tabernacle of clay can testify to that.

The other day we joined up with the American Sisters to sing hymns in Kirchgasse, which is the main shopping plaza/mall/entire street in Wiesbaden. This of course was after we went to America (the Military Base) to show our faces (and our name tags) at the German-American friendship fest they had going. This was during our dinner hour, and naturally, as often happens at these things, all four of us left with authentic German beer mugs. And then, also perfectly normal, a man came up to us and was like
"It's not very often that you see Mormon missionaries carrying beer mugs."
Ehehehe
We agreed.

 Anyway, back to the point.
We were singing, and after we finished a hymn, the ENTIRE plaza clapped for us! (almost  as awesome as the one time Sister Hadfield and I were singing together, and a Buddhist Monk came up beside us and took a picture and a video with us as we were singing.) We were able to talk to people and give out two Books of Mormon in ten minutes.
Then, we parted ways, and as Sister Hadfield and I were waiting at the bus stop, this beautiful woman comes up to us and asks
"What language were you singing just now in Kirchgasse?"
"Why, Deutsch" I reply
"What!?!? No, really? I told my fiancée that I thought for SURE you were singing in Hebrew."
uh...
Hehehe we did have some intonation problems with our harmony, so I guess it sounded Hebraic in its fundamental harmonic structure.

This email is already really long, but...

I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be yourself and self-confidence and agency and obedience and all that stuff, and how it relates to fulfilling dreams and desires, because the Lord has promised that He will grant us all our righteous desires. My desires are sometimes like a frightened doe, that scurries away at the first sign of danger. Finding the trust in yourself and in God to come out of the shadows of fear into the light of self is something that is intensely difficult. It is the struggle of all humanity. We think we need programs, self-help books, seminars, classes, trainers and a host of other resources. And we do. They all have their place, and they all play their role, but it really comes down to us.

Us and the Savior.

To believe so fiercely that the elements respond, but to be so open that you can see reality outside of pent up hopes and dreams is a terrain that only Christ can travel. We would, and do get lost in the hills and valleys of our own desires. It comes too often that we cross the boundary from love to selfishness, which turns our desire to desperation.

Faith is not a desperate need to be validated, nor is it a weak show of intelligence and discipline that can be destroyed by the very thought and action that bore it.

Faith is acting beyond knowledge.

It is saying "because I trust someone smarter, kinder, better, and more experienced than me, I am willing to change the way I act and take one step at a time until I too understand the 'why' behind the 'how'." 

 

That's why covenants are so powerful. When our deepest fears and most exquisite dreams collide with a desire to be obedient, it's like all the matter within us implodes. Temporal slams into spiritual, and the force of obedience generates a sort of black hole effect that swallows up all the different parts of us until all that is left is silence and darkness. But in that aching moment of nothingness, where it feels like all that we were and are is stripped away, and our identity stands naked in its vulnerability, we suddenly realize that we can finally see the stars.

 

And that, folks, is where greatness is born.

 

Haha. I guess it doesn't actually have to be that dramatic.

 

In the words of Elder D. Todd Christofferson

 

"Divine covenants make strong Christians. I urge each one to qualify for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth his hand to you, saying, “Here am I."

 

This gospel is true. It's also worth every second.

 

You are all incredible to me!

 

 

Much love,

 

Sister Roderer