Surviving on a Hope

This week was wonderful.

I am so very blessed.

 

*Celebrated Thanksgiving with three Americans and a Schweizer...poetic.

*Learned what "cold" in German means...and it's not even winter yet...

*Made my first Christmas wreath!

*Healed my broken relationship with umbrellas (I found one I can actually stand!..also, it never stops raining. Progress borne of necessity).

*I learned that German/Turkish Sprite is better than American Sprite.

 

We had had a crazy couple of days. I was on edge, because I was working through some emotional nasties, and then on Tuesday we were scrambling to get ready for our split, but then the dryer function to our washer decided to give up the ghost and haunt the washing function.

This means that every time we open the washer, no matter what, our clothing is floating in an ocean of water.

So, I spent like 49 minutes Monday evening squeeching the water out of my clothing, so I would have something to wear the next day.

 

They were still wet in the morning.

That helped a lot.

 

So we were stressed because this is what was going down on Wednesday:

Zone Conference-and Sister Helmick was giving a talk

All 20 missionaries were coming to Mannheim afterwards to find people in the area, and we were in charge

We had an apartment check right after the finding

And right after we had an appointment like 30 minutes away

 

And the next two days we weren't going to be in the same city!

 

Yeah, not terrible, but we were stressed.

Everything ended beautifully, and we headed, exhausted and confused to our appointment.

 

This family, whom I ADORE was kind enough to feed us. They knew we'd have missionary appetites, so they brought out lots of food. I was eating my salad and I came across something hot.

Oh Ha!

I thought, and drank a huge gulp of Sprite. That helped. I then noticed the jalapeño looking pepper on my plate. I noticed the whole pepper in the potato dish as well, but I have a decent heat threshold, so I wasn't worried.

 

Meanwhile.

 

Back on the ranch, Sister Helmick doesn't like hot stuff. And when I say "doesn't like" I mean she straight up hates it. Like, barely-will-eat-medium-salsa hates it.

Well, she sees the pepper and figures it's a long Turkish bean of some sort, rolls it up into one big wad, and goes in for the kill.

(I'm totally oblivious, enjoying my Turkish Sprite)

She takes two bites, and the member in worry calls out to be careful, 'cause that's a spicy one.

Sister Helmick, to her credit, in a desire for good edict, chews quickly and swallows.

First there's no reaction.

Meh, ok, I think.

All of a sudden

Oh! Ooh! OW!

I turn to Sister Helmick.

She's fanning her hand in front of her face.

We all start laughing, because it was shockingly funny.

But after like five minutes, it wasn't funny anymore.

Sister Helmick had great big tears rolling down her face, and she looks at me in confused, and pained frustration and is like

"Why does it hurt so much?"

Ten minutes, two cups of goat milk, and a bowl of unsweetened yogurt later, we're finally in the clear.

I left the second piece of pepper on my plate.

Untouched.

 

 

In the quiet heat of my personal battlefield, I have felt hope, like the lifeblood of existence, seep away. I've seen the loss of hope cause a loss of confidence, the loss of confidence cause desperation, desperation cause resentment, resentment cause bitterness and regret. And that, folks, leads to straight up selfishness. Without hope, we turn inward, because all we have energy to do is to try to placate the inner demon, or the inner whatever. A loss of hope wrings loose any joy or fulfillment we should be receiving from our service, or from our sacrifices. It turns "I love you" into "I am not love-able"  and "I am willing" into "I am worthless".

 

The bottom line is that we need hope, folks.

 

So how do we keep hope with us?

 

So many easy answers, but they never EVER lose importance.

 

Here are a couple quotes that I loved reading this week that you might enjoy.

From Elder Maxwell (surprise)

 

The English word repentance is the rendering for a Greek word which means “a change of mind,” such as changing one’s view of himself, God, the universe, life, others, and so on (see Bible Dictionary, “Repentance,” 760). How good you and I get at repenting will determine how good life is. (The Holy Ghost: Glorifying Christ)

 

Being content means acceptance without self-pity. Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls. (Content with the Things Allotted unto Us)

 

 

I gotta run, but here's my challenge for the week.

 

Can you improve your life this week by repenting and changing the way to see yourself or someone around you, and then be content with the experiences you have?

When we do that, we survive on hope. And that's what we gotta do.

 

All my love,

 

Sister Roderer